Oh so close. Four times yesterday I got partway through recording the visual meditation that topped our ‘popular’ vote.
The past 72 hours has taken an unexpected turn, with one of our kids needing a lot of TLC. I was able to sit beside her with my art journal and oil pastels, but taking time away to record just wasn’t practical.
A window of time came up when my daughter met up with friends. But I ‘only’ had an hour or so. After dropping her off, I thought I might find a shady spot somewhere, to go along with the artwork.
But it was peak hour. I couldn’t seem to find a quiet enough space – inside or out. Cars zoomed loudly nearby. A plane roared overhead. The phone rang. A coughing fit erupted in my throat. On the final attempt, someone started bouncing a basketball in a yard behind me.
I gritted my teeth and heeded the call. It’s just not happening right now. Feeling the knot in my stomach, I wanted to be tender with how much I longed for some ease and progress … while also accepting limitations.
Do you find that the call to create can sometimes seem stressfully compelling – more like a demand than an invitation. Could our ‘grit’ be to stay connected to joyful choice when facing a ‘should’, ‘to do’ or ‘deadline’?
I want to keep this dilemma in perspective. I want to stay connected to the joy of creativity. I know I will have space again soon. I suppose this is simply one of those times as a parent when the need to nurture is more urgent. And it has such sweetness, to be able to be here for someone so precious as they navigate heartache. She won’t always want me this close. I want to savour it and trust the course of life’s healing journeys. To store up in her and me the experience of companionship through pain so that hopefully this contributes to her life skills … and to our peace as a family … and to the wellbeing of a new generation she might one day raise.
Relaxing a little with my own frustration, other choices start to appear, even as a dim glow.
Tonight, while my daughter has dropped off to sleep still wanting me nearby, I can tap away quietly on this post. I can enjoy satisfaction and fulfilment, reflecting on the past few weeks of recordings.
Below are three of the visual meditations which people have told me they enjoyed.
Would you like to run your eye over them? Does one image especially ‘invite’ you to enjoy some relaxed curiousity and creativity, wherever you are in this moment?